Writing Class - Spring 2009

I attended an evening writing class in Spring 2009. On a Friday night(!). After the initial worries of losing out on 10 weeks of Friday evenings, it turned out to be an amazing reawakening of my creative juices. So nice to use my brain differently - from system ruled project manager to free thinker. I have included a couple of the pieces I wrote.

Haringey Local Gazette, Thursday 5th February 2009: The Swan Story

On Sunday the 1st of February a swan crash landed on Pemberton Road, a residential street which forms part of the 'Harringay Ladders'. The bird, a male mute swan, was attempting to join his mate on the New River. In the two hours of panic that ensued the swan succeeded in blocking all traffic from entering Green Lanes, but also served to reunite locals on the street (last seen during the Queen's Coronation).


Pemberton Road is usually a quiet, uneventful residential street, home to young families, professionals, Eastern Europeans and the odd student. It runs perpendicular to both Wightman Road and Green Lanes, the latter being a thriving hub of authentic kebab shops and Turkish Food Markets. The New River (constructed in the 17th century to bring clean water to Londoners from Ware in Hertfordshire) runs under most of the Ladders, occasionally poking out at an open stretch. For swans and other wildlife the river provides a nice spot for a swim amongst the densely packed Victorian terraces.

Pemberton Road residents such as Antim Dimova (who lives at number 28) were surprised to see a swan swaggering over the speed bumps. "I was amazed to see this plucky little swan waddling towards me. His wings were out and he was flapping like mad and seemed to be foaming at the mouth. A bit stressed out I think. There were loads of people around trying to help him because he was making his way down to Green Lanes. The cars would have minced him up.."


Klare Kennett from the South East Regional Office of the RSPCA stated that "Swans crash landing is a common occurrence and one of the main reasons why we get called out for rescue. They misjudge the landing and mistake road markings for water."

Interestingly, swans need rescuing for all sorts of reasons - they often fly into electric cables (they're big birds so changing direction at speed is difficult) and young birds often eat too much rich food developing a condition called 'Angel Wing' (where their wings develop too quickly and eventually they cannot fly). Perhaps the most intriguing swan story concerns the mysterious disappearance of swans in certain parts of London. This has been linked to the eating habits of certain groups of asylum seekers. Klare is keen to emphasise the lack of evidence to fully support such allegations. However, the declining swan numbers remain a mystery.

At least in this part of London the ending was a happy one. Eventually a 'man with a van' appeared, the man being John Davidson from North London Swan Rescue. The swan was captured safely and bundled into the van. When John left him he was enjoying some time at the boating lake at Alexandra Palace. For the residents of Pemberton Road it proved an exciting afternoons' entertainment. As Antim said "You don't see that every day and I actually got to meet a load of my neighbours for the first time".



An Assault on Free Speech: 12th February 2009

Free speech. The freedom to speak in a democratic society. A basic human right in the free world. As British Citizens we have always prided ourselves on the notion that we are free to say whatever we like when we like. But a series of recent cases has raised questions about how freely we really can talk and the parameters under which this freedom sits - Jonathan Ross returns to work at the BBC after a lengthy absence for offending Andrew Sach's granddaughter (and within hours offends an elderly neighbour), Carole Thatcher is sacked from the One Show for calling a tennis player a 'golliwog' and a Dutch MP is banned from entering this country because a film he made unashamedly bashes Islam.

In each case a single group is offended: the elderly (following Jonathan Ross's most recent gaffe), blacks in the case of Carole Thatcher and Muslims in relation to the Dutch MP. The difference is in the nature of the response. Ross, one of the BBC's most popular figureheads, is slapped on the wrist for latest schoolboy error (it's ok if he slips up occasionally as the punters keep coming back for more); Carole Thatcher is sacked outright (some might argue unfairly as the comment was made in the Green Room, off air, but still ostensibly on BBC territory), and the repatriation of MP Geert Wilders smacks of desperation and hypocrisy when one considers the outcry twenty years ago when Salmand Rushdie's 'Satanic Versus' was condemned by the Muslim World.

So what is acceptable and what is not and do we have the right to offend and be offended? The answer to the latter question is, in my opinion, yes. I reserve the right to offend and by the same token I accept that I may on occasion be offended. Of course what offends me and what offends someone else is likely to be entirely different. And herein lies the crux of the matter; it is incredibly difficult to set parameters for acceptability in speech and language and once set rights and freedoms slowly become eroded. Interested groups and individuals begin to chip away at the boundaries so that everyone comes to fear the words they use.

Words are a gift. They can inspire a nation, they can move one to tears and bring joy to our hearts. But, when abused they can lead to frustration, anger, humiliation and drive people to unspeakable acts of cruelty. I remain in awe of the power of speech, real honest truths spoken from our core and I would rather face and debate the threat of offensive language than lose the right to speak freely. I consider this my right as a British Citizen. A right I am proud to stand up and fight for.